I was recently on the phone with a brand new mom talking about the challenges of not sleeping, healing from delivery and shifting hormones. And the only words of wisdom I could share is, “it gets better.” Even when it feels like it never will, I promised her that it gets better. After we got off the phone, I found myself repeating that again and again in my own mind – it gets better; it gets better; it gets better. I realized that I was repeating them because those were the exact words I needed to hear too.
The first time I realized that things really do get better was my first year in college. I hated middle and high school and was convinced that I was doomed to spend my entire life feeling different, alone and sad. And yet I found myself at college in Maine where I connected with amazing friends, had the chance to totally nerd out in my academics, and finally started to feel comfortable in my own skin. I vividly remember a moment in my dorm room my freshman year where I thought, “Well, my parents were actually right. Things get better.”
The first few months after Freida was born, I seriously struggled. Freida had colic and screamed every single second that I wasn’t nursing her. She never slept longer than an hour at a time, and I spent those first few months in an absolute fog. And yet here we are almost 7 years later. Freida is the happiest little girl and lets me sleep in on the weekends (I think she senses she owes me a few years of sleeping!). Yes, things get better.
The past few months have also been full of struggles for me. COVID has turned my personal life and business upside down. The vacation that I had so so been looking forward to ended with an electric scooter incident that was as equally embarrassing as it is gruesome. I’m sparing y’all the pictures but hop on over to my Instagram for a good laugh or cry. Like any mature 38 year old, I called my mama after the accident hysterical – “I’m so tired of my life. Everything is going wrong. I can’t even have a vacation. Everything is always so so awful for me – I just can’t.” And yet, here I am 3 days later bandaged up with a glass of red wine writing this letter to you. Because you know what – things get better.
Yoga tells us that things get better not through magic but rather because everything, including ourselves, knows how to and wants to move towards healing and wholeness. I finally had self-acceptance and confidence because I took the risk to go somewhere new and allow people to see and love my true weird self. Motherhood got better because I was patient with Freida and myself, and I asked for help. Oh, and Lexapro – I owe Lexapro a big credit! =) Just as there is no doubt that my terrible road rash will heal if I allow myself the rest and care that my body needs, I also know that my life and business will get better if I give it what it needs.
So for anyone (including me) that needs this message right now – things will get better. I can promise you that.